Life is Good

Sunday was Mother's Day. I sat in church between my wonderful husband and my handsome almost teenaged son. It's not often that Trey worships with us, because he is involved in youth activities and usually sits with his friends. (This time, his friends sat with us.) :o) As I sat there, I reflected back on past Mother's Days....back to 2002, when Kyle was dedicated...then to 1997, when I celebrated my first Mother's Day--Trey was almost a year old and I was so happy......to 1996, when I was pregnant with Trey, but had to stay home in bed that day because I had PIH ( pregnancy induced hypertension).....to 1994 and 95, when I was so heart broken because I once again was NOT a mom yet, and the future looked so bleak......to the many Mother's Days I spent with my mom and some even with grandmothers. I realized, once again, how very very blessed I am. Even when life looked so dark, God had it all under control. He knew what I couldn't see...the love, the happiness, the struggles, the pain, the tears of joy and sorrow, the proud moments......He was there through all of it....never failing me. Never abandoning me. Celebrating. Loving. Giving.
How can I NOT praise Him? He gave 2 precious sons, who are my reasons for living.

God's Timing

A very dear friend of mine messaged me last night on Facebook. ( yes....that's where I've been. I know I have MUCH I need to share here, but for some reason, my creativity, which was never around a lot anyway, seems to be on an extended vacation. I have thoughts that swirl around my brain, especially at 3 or 4 AM!! But for some reason, the thoughts never make it from my brain to my fingers.)
Anyway....back to my friend's message. She is struggling with infertility and my heart goes out to her and her fabulous hubby because I've been there. In fact, I stayed there for a very long visit. Too long. Nobody should have to suffer that long on such an emotional roller coaster. She is near the beginning of her journey and shared that she had cried twice yesterday just because she wants this so badly and is afraid it's not going to happen. Yet. Ah the tears. If I could have bottled up the tears I shed while trying to conceive, I would have the greenest yard on the cul de sac this August.....no drought for me!
She asked me how I did it for so long....3 years for Trey and 3 years, then a miscarriage and 5 more months for Kyle. I couldn't give her an answer. At least not a concrete answer... I don't know HOW I got through those long painful years of shots, fertility drugs, blood tests and pee sticks. All I could say was first of all I had a patient husband who loved me ---who held me when I cried when once again, the test was negative or when another friend called me to tell me her wonderful news....she was expecting and I wasn't. He's the one who kept me sane when I wanted to throw my thermometer across the room and never take another temp. ( I don't want to admit how many I broke when they hit the closet door.) He's the one who kept me from scratching out the eyeballs of a well intentioned, albeit quite fertile friend who told me I just needed to get a dog! ( Uh...no...I didn't want a dog---I wanted a child!)
But the main thing that helped me through that time in my life was the knowledge that I didn't have to be in control....God had it all planned for me and while I didn't understand why it couldn't be RIGHT NOW, I was able to accept that HE KNEW BEST. One of the verses I claimed over and over was Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the LORD. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" I claimed that promise....over and over and over and over.
Philippians 4:11 "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." This verse was given to me in a Sunday School class...2 of my closest friends had just announced their pregnancies earlier in the week, and I prayed and asked God for something to help me to be happy for them even though I was fighting jealousy and envy because I wasn't pregnant too.
Today my friend is going to the dr for a bloodtest and I've been praying for her all morning. And just now, God gave me a song for her.....It's from the movie "Fireproof":

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead,

bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Looking back, from the other side of infertility, I can see that I did that.....and God rewarded my patience and my very long wait with two incredible gifts. And everyday, when I drop Kyle off at school or talk to Trey about what's going on in his life, I thank God for his good and perfect timing, because no other gifts could fit our family so perfectly.

No! Say it isn't so!!

Has it really been almost 2 months since I posted? I never updated our Christmas trip or Kyle's birthday or anything?
I hate to admit it, but I've been bitten by the Facebook bug and catching up with old high school buddies has taken priority.
But I PROMISE to be a much better blogger in the future, and I will even go back and write about what's been happening since I last appreciated my boys.
They may not come in order, because I already have a thought swirling in my head that deals with my anniversary yesterday, so I'll start there, and work backwards and go forwards both at the same time....this should be interesting!
Hang on----it could be a bumpy ride! LOL

-----Things I love about my boys-----

I saw this on another blog and decided to "steal" the idea and share on mine.
Things I love about Trey
1. He still shows me affection, even though he's 12 and taller than I am.
2. He likes a lot of my kind of music.
3. He doesn't like wearing the baggy pants, or the gothic look like so many jr. high kids do.
4. He has a variety of interests...sports, history, music, Nascar, church
5. He's very good with little kids
6. He likes getting good grades
7. He has a great sense of humor
8. He's not high maintenance
9. He likes to tease me--this is huge, because so many kids ignore their parents
10. He talks to me....*really* talks to me

Things I love about Kyle
1. He still calls me "Mommy"
2. He is so smart
3. He has a generous heart
4. He likes things neat
5. He has a beautiful singing voice
6. He's funny
7. He likes to do crafts and help me cook
8. He is willing to try new sports
9. He is very imaginative
10. He likes to snuggle, especially when he's had a bad day

This year, Kyle seems to be having a lot of difficulty in school. Not academically---he's reading at a 2nd grade level, his math, science, and social studies are all above average, and he even likes to write stories. No, the difficulties he's having are social/behavioral. So much so that I've been researching and asking all my experts if they have any ideas what could be going on with him. Since I am teaching a student with Asberger's, which is on the autism spectrum, I've been researching it and the more I read about it, the more it describes Kyle and some of my experts agree. So I went off to the school to ask for him to be tested. They had a psychologist come out and observe him and decided that there is no educational need so they denied him testing through the district. So now I'm having to look outside the school system to find a dr. who will test him, because without the diagnosis, the only thing the school district will do is put together a behavior plan for him. That's a good start, but I think he needs more, especially since he's having problems with his handwriting and writing his letters backwards, which has now caused him to fail his last spelling test because he writes b's instead of d's. So I'm not sure what the answer is but I do know that it looks like I've got a long road ahead of me to get him where he needs to be.