Trey's D.A.R.E. Graduation

Ok...it's starting. The week(s) I've been dreading all year. The time when I have no choice but to face the fact that my babies are growing up. It actully started last week, when we met with Trey's Middle School music teacher to sign him up for orchestra and set up our rental agreement for his instrument---the viola. I sure hope he enjoys it and sticks with it.

Today was his DARE graduation. DARE stands for Drug Awareness Resistance Education, and is taught by the local sherriff's department. Every Wednesday for the last few months, Trey comes home with enlightening info like, "mom, did you know that a cigarette has rat poison in it?" He really learned a lot and I feel better knowing that he has good comebacks if (no--when) he gets tempted by peer pressure to make the wrong choice about drugs, cigarettes, alcohol and even sex. Since I work in a middle school, I know it's out there and as much as I'd like to keep him young and naive, I know that he needs the tools with which to stand up for what he believes in the face of temptation and peer pressure.

I'm including his essay for ya'll to read...I'm really proud of him!!

To some people, D.A.R.E means “Drug Abuse Resistance Education” but to me, D.A.R.E is “Decision + Anticipate + Relationship = Effect. For the last few weeks, I have learned so much about drug, alcohol and tobacco like 1,200 people die everyday and there are 599 ingredients in cigarettes.
The Decision is not up to your parents but up to yourself. Make the right choice by saying No! Anticipate means to plan ahead to have at least one way to say no. Like the one that sounds funny to me is broken record because you just say one word every time. But there are lots of other ways too… Like walking away and giving an excuse.
R is Relationship. You have to choose the right friend. If your friend asked if you want cigarettes, that means he doesn’t care about you and is not really a true friend. That is also called peer pressure. You can change the subject or give an excuse.
E is the Effect you get when you add Decisions, Anticipate, and Relationships. Making good choices will help you stay away from harmful things like drugs, smoking and alcohol. Another effect is if you do drugs then there’s a lot of stuff that harm you like if you smoke you can get cancer and heart disease. Just say no and keep that answer. Everything has an effect so go the right way. I want to say thank you to Officer Bodine for teaching us about drugs and what would happen if you do drugs. D.A.R.E is really awesome and you will learn so much. That’s what D.A.R.E means to me.

Ugh! It's 3 months later!

I try so hard to get online to write in my blog, but it's so difficult. During the school year, my time online is so limited. I wish I could get on at school....I"d find a bit of time to catch up then. Actually, I have a lot of thoughts during the day; I just forget them by the time I get home or I don't get access to the computer at home because I'm either busy or someone else is on it.

School is out in 7 more days so I PROMISE to get on very often during the summer.

16 years ago I married my best friend.....

here are some pictures of that memorable day....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ewVGFn1sfk

Where did my baby go?????

Happy Birthday to my darling Son! One of the lights of my life.....the one who watches cooking shows with me. The one who drives me crazy one minute but the next is amazing me with his incredible creativity and inventiveness. I can't believe he's 5 years old. It seems like yesterday I was being rushed to the hospital. I never want to go through those scary few hours before his birth again, but I thank God for giving me such a precious miracle.

Here is a movie I made of his first days......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMJToK8p6Bk

Christmas Photos

My 2 handsome boys on Christmas Eve at Gammy & Papa's church

Kyle & my dad on the tractor

Kyle playing bells at church

My dad and Trey on the tractor

Our Christmas Card~~2006

Thinking of my Angel~~Angela Noelle

To Angela---My miracle baby. The one I knew was a gift from God, because she was a total surprise. The one I knew was a girl from the moment I found out I was pregnant.

It was different---I was sooooo sick with her, not like the boys who made me very tired and a wee bit nauseous, but never made me actually throw up. She was the only baby conceived without the help of drs and drugs, treatments and ultrasounds.

I saw and heard her beautiful heartbeat twice.....watched her grow from that tiny speck to look more like a peanut. Even though I knew from experience that I could lose her--I was older, and I'd already lost Tristan, so the fear was there, in the back of my mind---I began dreaming of this precious little girl who I was sure would have strawberry blond curls and big blue eyes just like her brothers. I pictured me dressing her up in dresses and bows, taking her to ballet and cheerleading camp...finally having a girl with whom to share tea parties, and giggle fests late into the night....things boys just wouldn't understand.

So needless to say, I just wasn't expecting to hear the dr's words---"I'm sorry. There's no heartbeat. This is not a viable pregnancy." After all, this was my miracle---my GIFT from God---the totally unexpected surprise! After giving me this precious gift, how dare He take it away from me?

It took me a very very long time to accept that there was a reason for this horrible loss, and while I will never know what that reason is, God does have a plan. And you better believe that it will be one of the first questions I ask when I get to Heaven! :o)

But for today....the 4th anniversary of that loss....all I can say is Happy Birthday Angela Noelle....born to Heaven way too soon. Your mommy loves you sweetie.

Sisters

Sharing a video I made for my sisters for Christmas.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kae5JA9c6js


I hope this works!!

Kyle Funny ( repost from PALP)

Kyle's been very sick lately and is on his 3rd round of antibiotics since Halloween.This time it's for bronchitis & a sinus infection and the dr put him on prednisone which he's only been on one other time and made him act more aggressively to other kids. WEll today he got in trouble because he pushed some stacked chairs into another little kid and when he started crying because he had time out, the class "bully" called him a baby so Ky hit him. He was telling me all about it on the way home tonight and I asked him if he was crying when Tony called him a baby & he said yes. Well I told him that he was being a baby...he needed to just do his punishment and not throw a fit because he got in trouble. He was quiet for a second and then sighed real loud and said, "mom, it's just so hard trying to be 5." I really had to stop myself from laughing because I'd had a hard day too and I was thinking how hard it was trying to be a grown up! LOL

A Mom's Letter to Santa

I got this letter in an email, but there are days when I sure do feel this way! I changed a few things to make it personal.... (in green)

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of cookie dough to raise money to put a shade over the school playground.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, onthe back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find any more free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, whichI already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine so long ago, I'm sure it's been claimed by soemone else.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone, and a secret computer room to which nobody else has access.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Leave your brother alone," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the neighbor's dog. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,
MOM
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Thinking of my Angel~~Tristan

Six years ago today, I went in for a routine ob appt and the dr did an ultrasound. We were so excited and couldn't wait to see that precious little peanut again! There he was ----a perfect little thing....everything looked just like it was supposed to...........except there was something missing. Where was that little flicker that showed the heartbeat?

My dr tried every possible angle to see if he could find it. I couldn't see the screen, so all I could do was read his expression, and knew there was no heartbeat. My world came crashing down around me. Never had I considered in my wildest dreams, that I could miscarry a baby. God couldn't be that cruel. It had taken me 3 long years to get pregnant in the first place, and then I LOST it?? Impossible.

Unfortunately it was true. That was on a Wednesday, and the dr was unable to get me scheduled for a d&c until Friday. So I spent the next hours begging God for a miracle...he had to bring that baby back. I made every possible bargain I could think of, and even insisted that I have another u/s done before they did the d&c, because I BELIEVED a miracle would happen and my baby would really have still been alive.

Why had this happened to me? It was so unfair--it seemed like all around me girls who didin't deserve to be pregnant were having babies, and yet I would have given anything to have a baby and couldn't. Every night Trey would pray that God would send him a baby brother or sister to play with and it broke my heart because I wanted to give him a baby and just couldn't.

AT the time, I couldn't see any reason why I had to go through such heartache, but now, I see that it has made me a much better person....less judgemental, more caring and compassionate. So....on days like today, when the hurt is fresh once again as I relive that fateful day, I think of my precious little son Tristan, who is in Heaven welcoming other new angels to the playground, showing them around and getting to know the new kids, and I thank God for puting him in my life, even if it was just for a short few weeks.

Tristan, Mama loves you and wishes you were here.

I'm Baa-aaaack!!

After being threatened with removal from The List, I decided I better hightail it over here and update! LOL So.....Gretchen...this one's for you!

My life went into Turbo overdrive this fall and I'm still trying to catch my breath! Trey plays on a Quest Team , which means he's in a competition league, rather than a recreational one. I'm not sure how I feel about that, mostly because I have REAL issues with his coach. But he loves it, so for the time being, I'm allowing him to continue playing in this league. My issues with said coach will be in another post, because this first post WILL be upbeat ( even if it kills me! ) LOL

Kyle is in a WONDERFUL preschool program, and I couldn't be happier! He is so smart and is a little sponge soaking up knowledge all around him. He amazes me with his inventiveness. He's learning Spanish and is absolutely adorable.

Trey is in his LAST year of elementary school and mom is having a very hard time dealing with that sometimes.....I look at him, so grown-up all of a sudden and it brings tears to my eyes. I am SO PROUD of him and he is doing well in school this year too, which is an added plus after struggling with math in the past.

I'm teaching TWO subjects at school this year, Language Arts and Texas History, both of which have a lot of prep-work and grading, so I stay busy with school as well. In addition, I'm active at church and with Staci's Melanoma Foundation, as well as going to as many of the boys' activities as physically possible.

I'm very happy with my life, though, and I've not always been able to say that and truly mean it. Right now, I'm facing the holidays, that seem to be filled with so much loss for my family, and even though I get in a bit of a melancholy mood every once in a while, for the most part, I think I'm over much of the grieving. This Christmas & New Year's will be difficult, because it's the first anniversary of my MIL's death, and I'm sure we'll all be a bit down then, but I'm hoping and praying that 2007 will be a MUCH better year for us.

Back to School......

Wow! this summer FLEW by! I can't believe we're ready to start another school year!

Trey will be in 5th grade this year at a new school. His LAST year in elementary! YIKES! My baby is growing up! This is his last week of "freedom" so he's trying to jam-pack it full of everything he didn't do all summer. LOL

Today, Kyle started an accelerated preK program that is AWESOME! He will do PreK stuff in the fall and in the spring, he starts the Kindergarten curriculum with math and reading. I'm so excited for him and he can't wait to go to "big-boy" school! He's also excited because he gets to go on field trips this year and ride the bus. lol


I have a new assignment also---Texas History and Language Arts. That will be a lot of extra work, but hopefully it will only be for one year. I'm hoping to transfer at the end of this school year to another school closer to home. My inservices and meetings start officially on Wednesday, but I've been working on school stuff since the first of August.

The BEST part of back to school is the school supply sales! LOL I LOVE going shopping for school supplies! I buy so many scissors, glue, markers, pencils, etc., to last more than through the school year and always have a great stash put away ":just in case we need it".

Pictures of Kyle

Kyle in his story box---He got the idea from watching "Pinky Dinky Doo" on Noggin.













Kyle on the computer---he discovered the Noggin and Disney websites this summer.














(this was taken in June--yes I know he is wearing Santa pjs....you talk to a sleepy (read crabby!) 4 year old and convince him that Christmas was 6 months ago---he doesn't care...it's the only pair of jammies he could find that didn't have a hole in the knee! )

pictures of my soccer boys

I'm reading a blog of a woman who just lost her fight with melanoma and she started the blog to share pictures of her precious little boy with family who didn't live nearby and also as a way to look back and trace the journey of thier family. As time goes on the blog changed to her fight with melanoma. And it caused me to start thinking about my blog...I really don't need to make it that big of a deal---it's just a way for me to share my family. So here goes---I'm turning over a new leaf...more entries and more pictures.

the blog I'm reading: http://tebspage.blogspot.com

Conversation with Trey~~~

TREY--Mom, what's a diaphragm? (yelled downstairs as he and a female friend are playing in the gameroom)
ME--uh.....how is it used in a sentence?
TREY--I'm not sure how to say it...it's a drawing of where everything goes....
ME--oh~~~ you mean a DIAGRAM?
TREY--yeah that's it! thanks!

~*~*~*PHEW!*~*~*~
I certainly wasn't prepared for THAT discussion!

The playground

The playground was full of laughing, healthy boys and girls......They were bouncing balls, playing hopscotch, chasing butterflies, and just being typical kids. Everyone was getting along so perfectly....the sun was shining, birds were chirping the most glorious songs. You could tell that some of these children were siblings.... they had the same beautiful eyes and shining hair. There were three, very special children that kept looking off into the distance as if they knew that this was indeed an extraordinary day. There was a feeling of anticipation with these three, that the others just didn't seem to exude.

Suddenly there was a light tinkling sound.....all play came to an abrupt standstill as the children watched the beautiful lady in the white dress escort the small boy out to join them. The little brownhaired lad was a bit shy at first until he made eye contact with one of the three, and you could see him visbly relax because he recognized them. The lady introduced the lad , " Children, we have a new youngster joining us. Please welcome Jacob Daniel. He's had a very rough journey but he's here now."

The three welcomed their brother with huge hugs, lots of laughter and then they all ran off to play together. The lady in white smiled and wiped away a tear as she watched the lad running off...his spine was straight, heart no longer broken....whole and healthy in a way that only The Great Physician can cure.

~*~*~*written in memory of Jacob Daniel, a child too broken and God had to bring him back to Heaven to be fixed. May his parents find the love, support, peace and healing they need to survive this painful loss.~*~*~*

Picture by Patch of Heaven Graphics http://members.tripod.com/patchofheaven2/angel_and_duck.htm

They're growing up!

Why is this such a SURPRISE to me????? I look at these 2 wonderful boys God gave me, and *I* see the little towheaded toddlers running towards me with huge smiles and dirty hands outstretched ready to hug me. Everyone else sees something different. Especially with Trey. They see a tall slim boy almost as tall as me with feet that seem to go on forever! My grandmother (God rest her soul) would have said he was setting a solid foundation. LOL
His soccer coach told him he looked like Prince Harry ( and he really does!) so now he goes around insisting that I call him "the Prince. " He's such a goof! :o) He decided that would get him out of his chores but soon realized the QUEEN (me!) thought he should still do them.
When they start growing up, the worries change. Where before I had to make sure he was safe from things that could hurt him physically (scissors, knives, broken glass) now I'm more worried about things that will hurt him emotionally or spiritually (bad language, violence, sex). Bullies at school do more damage with their words than they do with their fists. And how does a mom battle those??? All I can do is make sure he knows that he is loved, that he knows what we believe is right and wrong and pray for Divine Guidance for him when he's not with me.

Thoughts from a Soccer MOM

Per Jules' request, I'm here! LOL Wouldn't want to upset the pregnant lady! :o)

Actually, I was planning to get in here anyway....I haven't written about Kyle's soccer games yet. To be honest, I should have written it last week, because it was amuch more positive experienc e than today was! OH MY GOSH!!!!! Today was utter T*O*R*T*U*R*E!!! When he woke up this morning he was so excited about going tothe game ans playing, but when we got there, he didn't want to play. We were short players so we needed all 4 kids out there the whole game. I had to peel him off of my leg several times, and he spend most of the game crying. I teased him, tried to bribe him, fussed at him, even sat him in timeout because he was throwing a fit. he said it was because they weren't playing with his ball, so we switched balls and evel let him do the kickoff. H dribbled down the field and shot on goal, but the goalie took the ball and Kyle FELL APART! He threw himself down on the field and cried. The OTHER TEAM's coach went over and picked him up and tried to console him and then he got down and came running to me because the other team took his ball away. At that point, I gave up and sat him on the bench. I was taking pictures of the team so I couldn't do anything else. Consequently, he didn't get his treat that I had for him in the car, because he had thrown a fit. Then I felt like I was a HORRIBLE pushy mom that was MAKING her kid play when he didn't want to. But usually, he takes a bit to warm up and then he LOVES playing--he just needs that little NUDGE to get him out there and playing. It made it worse because his dad was there....normally Trey's games are at the same time, so I take Kyle and Eddie takes Trey. Today, Trey's game was later so we could all go to both. He does better at games where it's just the 2 of us, but that's not fair to Eddie....he wants to see his son play too. Plus next week I'll be out of town so Eddie will have to take Kyle to his game. I'm really hoping that he does better next week for Eddie.

Trey, on the other hand. had one of the BEST games ever!!! he was ON FIRE!!!! He played both defense and offense, and while he didn't make a goal, he was everywhere he was supposed to be, and did everything perfectly.....AWESOME kicks, great passes, lots of assists, etc.

A Day at the Beach

Last week, during Spring Break, I took the Boys to Galveston. Kyle had never been to the beach and Trey had only been a very few times. We took sand shovels and trucks and they played in the sand for quite a while. They probably could have stayed a whole lot longer just playing in the sand, but I was afraid that they'd get sunburned. It was a PERFECT day--overcast and windy so we weren't too hot. I could have stayed out there on such a gorgeous day too, but now that I have the beach "itch" again, and both boys enjoyed it so much, I'm sure we'll be going back again on my next vacation from school--Easter maybe???

We decided to take the ferry across to Bolivar Peninsula just to ride the boat and Kyle was excited about it until the captain sounded the horn. AS soon as he heard the loud foghorn, he RAN back to the car, got inside, buckjled up and grabbed his baby! LOL! I couldn't get him to come back out after that! As soon as we got across, he was ready to come back so we turned around and got back on the same ferry and came back to Galveston again.

They had so much fun...it's really cool to see these things through the boys' eyes, because you get to enjoy it all over again for the first time.