Christmas 2008

Ok. So I'm a little late. If you know me, then you know this is typical for me.....I have good intentions, but Christmas is such a hectic, crazy time so I often have difficulties keeping up. Which means my blog most definitely takes a back seat to everything else.

This Christmas, we visited family. School got out on Friday and we left the next morning to travel to Illinois to visit my sisters. When we left Texas, the boys were wearing shorts and t shirts. It was probably around 75 degrees. By the time we made it to the hotel in Blytheville, Arkansas, which is on the Arkansas/Missouri border, the temp was down in the 40s. The boys decided to put on jeans and get their hoodies before we went out for dinner. We had a yummy Mexican dinner (well.....Eddie, Trey and I had Mexican--Kyle had McDonald's chicken nuggets) then went to Walmart to do a bit of last minute shopping before going back to our hotel to watch a Christmas movie and fall asleep.

The next morning, we ate breakfast and headed on to Illinois. It. was. COLD. The temp, when we got in the car, was 23. Definitely not what I was used to anymore. As the day progressed, we drove further and further north and watched the temp steadily drop. 20. 18. 15. 12. 9. 6. 4. 2. -1. -3. -6. It was FRIGID! And the wind chill made it feel more like -30!! It started snowing BIG flakes when we got around Bloomington, IL. It was so pretty. As long as we were inside the car, we really enjoyed the sights. The roads were clear. It was a little windy and that meant we were being blown around a bit on the road, but it was not that bad.

We finally had some bad roads when we got closer to my sister Staci's house....the country roads were icy and snow packed, so it was a bit dicey at times. We got to Staci's and glory be! she had a fire lit in the fireplace and that's where I stayed most of the afternoon----curled up on the sofa with a big cup of coffee right by the blazing fireplace. :o)

Time Didn't Stand Still

As you can see there is a HUGE gap -- over NINE years!! -- between postings.  Life has been crazy  but suddenly I have this strong desire to get my memories down, not on paper, but at least saved so that I can look back on my amazing life.

I have to admit, one big reason for this, is that I pulled up this blog, looking for pictures of Kyle to put in my yearbook tribute to him.  Yep!  He's a SENIOR!!  My last post was about him being diagnosed w/ Aspergers, so I have a LOT to write about.

It's hard to believe that the precious baby sleeping above, is now almost 18 years old and will soon be graduating and leaving the nest.  I am so proud of the young man he has become and I can't wait to see what lies ahead in his future. 



Life's Ups and Downs

It's amazing how when things are going well, I don't have time to update my blog, but as soon as something rocks my world, it's one of the first places I head.

Life has been going along so very well....boys are doing well in school, I love my job, Eddie is wonderful. Life. is. good.

Trey is a freshman in high school and is struggling a little with Biology and Spanish II, mostly because he hasn't figured out yet that he needs to consistently study, instead of sporadically cramming the night before a test. He'll figure it out soon. In the meantime, he's staying for tutoring for some extra help. He plans to play on the school soccer team next semester. I can't wait! I love watching him play. He is on a club team this fall and is really doing well.

Kyle is doing well academically. He's in a Gifted/Talented Cluster class, where they put G/T and high achieving regular kids together. He is loving the extra challenges and all the projects. He's also part of a Destination Imagination team. I'm hoping that is a good fit for him.

This summer we finally had Kyle tested, and they confirmed my suspicions that he indeed did have Asperger's Syndrome, which is a high functioning autism. I KNEW deep down in my heart, but I sure wanted to be proven wrong this time. We just got the results a couple days ago and I'm still trying to process everything. Part of me wonders if he is this way because of all the fertility drugs that I took, or because I was older when he was born. When I stop to truly think about it, I know that it's probably not my fault, but Satan sure knows where to send his jabs to do the most damage. I hope I won't have a difficult time getting him help at his school, but I'm gearing up for a fight, because the testing was done outside of school, and they have already told me there was no academic need to have him getting special help. The doctors this summer disagree, so I hope that by sharing their findings, I will be able to get him some extra support, especially in speech and social skills.

Life is Good

Sunday was Mother's Day. I sat in church between my wonderful husband and my handsome almost teenaged son. It's not often that Trey worships with us, because he is involved in youth activities and usually sits with his friends. (This time, his friends sat with us.) :o) As I sat there, I reflected back on past Mother's Days....back to 2002, when Kyle was dedicated...then to 1997, when I celebrated my first Mother's Day--Trey was almost a year old and I was so happy......to 1996, when I was pregnant with Trey, but had to stay home in bed that day because I had PIH ( pregnancy induced hypertension).....to 1994 and 95, when I was so heart broken because I once again was NOT a mom yet, and the future looked so bleak......to the many Mother's Days I spent with my mom and some even with grandmothers. I realized, once again, how very very blessed I am. Even when life looked so dark, God had it all under control. He knew what I couldn't see...the love, the happiness, the struggles, the pain, the tears of joy and sorrow, the proud moments......He was there through all of it....never failing me. Never abandoning me. Celebrating. Loving. Giving.
How can I NOT praise Him? He gave 2 precious sons, who are my reasons for living.

God's Timing

A very dear friend of mine messaged me last night on Facebook. ( yes....that's where I've been. I know I have MUCH I need to share here, but for some reason, my creativity, which was never around a lot anyway, seems to be on an extended vacation. I have thoughts that swirl around my brain, especially at 3 or 4 AM!! But for some reason, the thoughts never make it from my brain to my fingers.)
Anyway....back to my friend's message. She is struggling with infertility and my heart goes out to her and her fabulous hubby because I've been there. In fact, I stayed there for a very long visit. Too long. Nobody should have to suffer that long on such an emotional roller coaster. She is near the beginning of her journey and shared that she had cried twice yesterday just because she wants this so badly and is afraid it's not going to happen. Yet. Ah the tears. If I could have bottled up the tears I shed while trying to conceive, I would have the greenest yard on the cul de sac this August.....no drought for me!
She asked me how I did it for so long....3 years for Trey and 3 years, then a miscarriage and 5 more months for Kyle. I couldn't give her an answer. At least not a concrete answer... I don't know HOW I got through those long painful years of shots, fertility drugs, blood tests and pee sticks. All I could say was first of all I had a patient husband who loved me ---who held me when I cried when once again, the test was negative or when another friend called me to tell me her wonderful news....she was expecting and I wasn't. He's the one who kept me sane when I wanted to throw my thermometer across the room and never take another temp. ( I don't want to admit how many I broke when they hit the closet door.) He's the one who kept me from scratching out the eyeballs of a well intentioned, albeit quite fertile friend who told me I just needed to get a dog! ( Uh...no...I didn't want a dog---I wanted a child!)
But the main thing that helped me through that time in my life was the knowledge that I didn't have to be in control....God had it all planned for me and while I didn't understand why it couldn't be RIGHT NOW, I was able to accept that HE KNEW BEST. One of the verses I claimed over and over was Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the LORD. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" I claimed that promise....over and over and over and over.
Philippians 4:11 "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." This verse was given to me in a Sunday School class...2 of my closest friends had just announced their pregnancies earlier in the week, and I prayed and asked God for something to help me to be happy for them even though I was fighting jealousy and envy because I wasn't pregnant too.
Today my friend is going to the dr for a bloodtest and I've been praying for her all morning. And just now, God gave me a song for her.....It's from the movie "Fireproof":

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead,

bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Looking back, from the other side of infertility, I can see that I did that.....and God rewarded my patience and my very long wait with two incredible gifts. And everyday, when I drop Kyle off at school or talk to Trey about what's going on in his life, I thank God for his good and perfect timing, because no other gifts could fit our family so perfectly.

No! Say it isn't so!!

Has it really been almost 2 months since I posted? I never updated our Christmas trip or Kyle's birthday or anything?
I hate to admit it, but I've been bitten by the Facebook bug and catching up with old high school buddies has taken priority.
But I PROMISE to be a much better blogger in the future, and I will even go back and write about what's been happening since I last appreciated my boys.
They may not come in order, because I already have a thought swirling in my head that deals with my anniversary yesterday, so I'll start there, and work backwards and go forwards both at the same time....this should be interesting!
Hang on----it could be a bumpy ride! LOL